Plot: A romantic anniversary trip to a secluded cabin turns sinister when a dark presence reveals itself, forcing a couple (Tatiana Maslany & Rossif Sutherland) to confront the property’s haunting past.
Don’t Keep This!
I found myself repeatedly questioning the purpose of watching this movie. What am I even doing here? Why did I choose to spend my time on this? What exactly did I attempt to watch? The title “Keeper” is baffling, given that this film feels more like something meant to be discarded—a poor production that deserves to be left in a Redbox rather than showcased in a movie theater. The endless unfolding of scenes left me perplexed, but I think you understand my frustration! Throughout the film, I held onto the hope that something frightening or suspenseful would finally happen, but that moment never materialized. It’s hard for me to comprehend how others can genuinely appreciate a movie that I view as utter trash.
To KEEP or NOT To Keep Is The Question
However, I recognize that everyone has the right to their own opinions, and that’s what makes America unique—the freedom of speech and the ability to think independently. All I can offer is my candid assessment based on my personal views and experiences, sharing what I genuinely feel about this film and its shortcomings. Throughout the viewing of this film, I found myself grappling with a series of fundamental questions regarding its value and significance. What is my purpose in watching this production? Why did I allocate my time to this particular film?
A Great Cinematic Event? NOOOOO WAY!!!
What did I truly encounter in this cinematic experience? The title “Keeper” is misleading, as the film presents itself more as a collection of disjointed scenes that are better suited for disposal—clearly not worthy of the theatrical release format. The narrative progression appeared excessively prolonged, leading to heightened confusion and disappointment.
Get Lost Someplace Else, People!
Despite my anticipation for an engaging or suspenseful moment, such an experience never materialized. I find it difficult to comprehend how some individuals can appreciate a film that I regard as lacking in quality and substance. Nonetheless, I recognize and respect the fact that diverse opinions exist, which is a hallmark of intellectual freedom and discourse. In a society that values the right to free expression, it is essential to articulate one’s perspective openly. Thus, I offer my candid evaluation, sharing my insights regarding the film and its considerable shortcomings in quality and execution.
Yikes!!! I may wait til streaming.
That is a VERY safe bet! Actually, I’d send it down a stream and never save it or look back!
I’m glad I read this review. I was thinking about seeing this movie but now I will wait until it comes out on a streaming service. Thanks!
That’s what I’m here for! I’d let it float down a stream and never ever look back!
I have seen Tubi produced movies that were better then this trash. Nothing scary & like you, I sat there questioning what the hell am I doing here still watching this. I could have been getting a colonoscopy or something!
Haha! No freaking way dude?!?!? A colonoscopy is better than this? You got me cracking up laughing over here! With colonoscopies they put you to sleep fast and this movie does the same thing and works just as fast, so GREAT minds like ours think so much alike! I think you’re a “keeper” I will stick around because we see eye-to-eye on this here disaster!
I was never sold by the trailer to see this and by your review I’m still not interested!! Thanks for taking one for the team!
I’d do anything for you all because you all will do anything for me! I will KEEP all of you!! Forever and ever!
With this movie, I feel a lot of people completely missed the point of it. Everyone was looking for a balls to the wall horror film and ended up letting themselves down. I went into it with an open mind and got a great experience. The movie wasn’t an out and out horror film, it was an ethereal experience. They have a film about the dangers of emotional vampires that preyed on innocent people for their own gains. Great movie.
Very true. Some people, like myself did NOT appreciate this film – maybe because I did not go into it with an open mind or with the same perspective as you described in your comment and I will grant you the props that you well deserve for pointing that out! I will try that the next time I see a film such as this! Thanks Mikey!